There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
