Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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