Cold hands, warm shart.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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