Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize