I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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