My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
