im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
