Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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