lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Congratulations! We have a period
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
