WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
