i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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