5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
