I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize