Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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