If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
