Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I love you. Go after that dick
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
