I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
