I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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