that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
