So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Oh god it's open bar.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
