Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
