Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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