a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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