whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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