I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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