$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
do nipples grow back?
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