Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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