i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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