the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you still have your period?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he puts the penis in happiness.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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