TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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