Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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