Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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