i just google imaged poop.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
