Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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