Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize