Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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