you would pick up someone in the library
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
