hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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