So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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