Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
