in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
