Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
