Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am midnight drunk by noon
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on