I will die if light touches me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Less talking, more tequila
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
