lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
