his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
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Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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