I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When did angry sex become our thing?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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