You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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