My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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