I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
