So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
