I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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