I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
