i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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