we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
be right there i have to get my cape
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
