I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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