There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
