And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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