There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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