She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
