There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
