We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
