Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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