He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize