dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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