Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You pole danced in your parka.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
