Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i love accidental penises.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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