Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize