that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
