The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Pants are for mortals
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
