he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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