Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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